3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
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