kristin has been a bad kristin
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Randomize
