i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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