how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
