Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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