Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Randomize
