toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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