this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Randomize
