He uses pillows to masturbate.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
