My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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