wake up i wanna do it froggy style
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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