id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
