Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
