He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
