She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.