Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
19 Teachers Share the Funniest Items Brought to “Show and Tell”
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
23 Concerns People Have When They’re About To Have Sex With Someone New
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs