All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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