accomplished twins. life is a go
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
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