Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Randomize
