you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Damn victory sex feels great
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
