Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Randomize
