i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
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