Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Randomize
