Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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