do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
