please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
