that's an acceptable place to lick
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
There are leaves in my underwear?
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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