But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize
