3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
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Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
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I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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