she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Randomize
