Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
And then my night got REAL pukey
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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