You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
