They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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