I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I supernannyed him into submission
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Randomize
