dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
