i wish peter jackson would direct porn
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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