i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Found your dick twin last night
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Randomize
