he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
