Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I fill condoms, not promises.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
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