Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Randomize
