Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
smell my finger.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
