Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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