After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Randomize
