I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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