Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize