doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Randomize
