8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
