butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
