I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize