My friends, they love my intelligence
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Do you have feelings for this penis?
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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