question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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