I'm lost and stupid without you.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
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