How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
