My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
