I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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