Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
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