we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Randomize
