I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
My feet surprised me
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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