just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
