i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
