People with herpes should wear stickers.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
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